Happy wedding anniversary to Berti Dosti and his wife Tatjana who were married 30 years ago yesterday on October 24, 1981.
Weddings were very different in Albania 30 years ago. Arranged marriages were the norm then and Berti’s father, Shefit, told him he had had discussions with the family and he would like him to consider marrying Tatjana Dervishi, his stepmother’s niece.
Born on June 4, 1959, Tatjana had an older sister, a younger sister, and a brother.
Tatjana’s father, a chief accountant, was a Communist although, like his wife, he had been brought up following Bektashi, a little known strain of Islam, founded by a Persian, Haji Betas Veil in the 13th century.
In Albanian tradition, a younger brother had to discuss the marriage arrangements with his older brother to get his agreement before talking to his bride-to-be.
In December 1979, having got his brother Iliri’s consent, Berti told his father he would marry Tatjana and on September 2, 1980, both families gathered for an engagement ceremony meal.
In the following autumn Berti and Tatjana, pictured below in their wedding outfits, were married in her village of Melcan on Saturday, October 24, 1981.
And it was his childhood friend, Ladi, who played a vital part in getting Berti to the ceremony on time. Ladi’s father made the bridegroom’s wedding suit, but the tailor was very busy, and so after making the final adjustments, there wasn’t much time for Berti to catch the Lushnje train to Korçë.
An added problem was that with all the heavy rain that Saturday and puddles everywhere Berti didn’t want to get his new suit muddy. So Ladi carried him the 700 metres from his home to the railway station – on piggyback.
Tatjana, who married in a white wedding dress, said it was a memorable day. There were more than 100 guests in the village hall for the Saturday night event, which lasted for up to six hours and included food, drink and dancing.
There were no bridesmaids and no wedding photographs. The only wedding photograph Tatjana has of her and her new husband was taken in a studio three weeks later – in black and white.
But 30 years later what did the couple think about the arranged marriage.
Tatjana said the authority of parents was always respected, particularly in the villages. “As for moving from a village to a big town I knew life was good in the towns and I was looking forward to going from Melcan to Lushnje,” she said.
And what did she think of the two families’ choice of her bridegroom? “I was very, very happy with that,” she said blushing slightly.
To which Berti, who now works for the European Christian Mission, chipped in: “All Albanian girls say that, particularly in front of their husband.”
There’s more about Berti and Tajana’s wedding in God’s Secret Listener, published by Lion/Hudson. To order a signed copy email John@jbutterworth.plus.com
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